Back to school

well even though 9th grade is still in the Jr High.. its tough acknowledging that i have a High Schooler.

of course I didnt take a picture, so I'll have to do that later today (end of first day picture) or tomorrow morning when I take him down to school.
sadly, I felt more unprepared for this year in terms of supplies, schedules, etc. We were looking at his schedule THIS MORNING and looking to see where classes were on the online school map. He noticed he has one teacher he says Hates him, I'm sure its just not that extreme... but we all know teenage drama is much worse than it really is.
He has a teacher for advisory that he cant stand, he says the guy has his advisory just sit and talk or play games... I asked "this is a bad thing? " so then I pointed out, its only 45 minutes a day with him, and I'm sure he can find someone to talk to or can entertain himself for that time frame.
He has alot of teachers that he really enjoys, so I'm hoping that it will all balance out at the end of the day.

Doing MUCH better/Jason coming home

I've had a few people ask how things are going for me now since my melt down. I'm doing much better. Its hard to explain, but it was kinda like I needed that melt down to in a sense "cleanse" myself of all the hurt and ups and down from this summer. I've had two days of smiles, lots of hugs and time with friends, and its all been very theraputic. I knew i needed to get it out of my system before my son came home, he doesnt need to see mom like that.
I'm out on a few dating sites, and have the word out to friends that I am single and looking :) we'll see.

on another good note: my kiddo comes home in 10 days, I soooo cant wait to see him. Its been a long summer without him. I know he has had a blast, and that he has had the chance to rebond with his dad. all great things for him. I've been able to talk to him some (not lots because he's been busy) but some. I've just missed his smile and his sarcasum if that is at all possible. He starts 9th grade on the 23rd, and its just crazy weird that my baby is old enough to be "high school" age. I met his dad when we were this age, so I've told my ex that we are in BIG trouble now :)

anyways, really... life is good, I'm okay. I hate the idea of being alone, and it does get lonely. But this too will pass, and I'm surrounded by loved ones and friends.

melt down

Last night i had myself a good old fashioned melt down, the tears started and just wouldnt stop. nothing I did, made them stop. in some cases the tears and crying got harder. I was just so very lonely last night, and just wanting a good man to wrap his arms around me and tell me it would all be okay.
I knew i just needed to get through the night, get some sleep and things would be looking up in the morning.
I really hate nights like that, but the good news is that these nights come far and few between now.

Long story short

Long story short.... this has been my summer in a nut shell
Don and I split, and I moved out in February. We attempted for a few months to go back to "dating" and in a sense rediscover us. things were okay for awhile, it was on and off. We took a few trips together and had a great time. We officially broke things off for good about a month ago. Its been hard, and we didnt end of the best of terms. The reasons are not important, but its a good thing for both of us. We are on cival speaking terms (after all, he is my trusted Mechanic) He's moved on, I've moved on and we have been able to talk about each others future with others this weekend. It was nice, there was no hurt, no tears. Just two friends talking. giving each other the perspective from the opposite sex.

the trips I've taken: went to Colorado (which I still need to blog)
many camping trips, a trip to lava... all of which i need to catch up on here.
Its been a long enjoyable summer inbetween all the rotten stuff.

WOW, way over due

wow, its been a LONG time hasnt it.
lets see, update in a nut shell.... I moved back home, and stress took over for a bit.
yep, that about says it all :)

so now, we are heading into summer, I'm still unemployed but watching my friends kids for some income. Jason is heading off to Washington for the summer, and is excited about it.
I am just going to be plugging right along the best I can.

I just returned from a fast trip to Vegas for a wedding, and getting ready to head out to Colorado for 10 days.

so I'll post about Vegas, and then when I get back from Colorado, I'll post about that :)

Deans list

WHOOO HOOOO... I've not been this excited for such a long time.
I received a package today, it had no return address, so I didnt know who it was from.
When I opened it, I saw this

I knew what my grades were in my classes, but my brain didnt connect it to earning a place on the Deans list. (IT DOES NOW)
It had two letters, one from the Associate Dean of Business and the Executive Director of the Online Division. Very nice letters encouraging me to keep going strong

I didnt do this well in High school, and somehow this time around is so much easier.

There will be some celebrating tonight.... cheesecake, a nice dinner, and a night off from school

Hot Tub Date

As some of you know, we got a hot tub about a month ago. We've used it quite a bit...we love having it.
Don and Jason have bee working in the back where the hot tub sits to make it a really nice area. It has been screened in so that we have some privacy. We have a nice outdoor closet for towels and the chemicals, on top of which we have put a radio.

This past Saturday, life was busy. We were on the go all day and got home, had dinner and my three nieces were dropped off for the night. (their parents were heading out to a send off for a soldier buddy of theirs that is leaving for Iraq on Thursday) I was pretty sure that there would be no date this week because after all, we did have the three additional kids (4 months-6 years)
but man was I wrong....so for our date, after I had the kids in bed, Don handed me my swim suit and asked me to meet him outside when I could. I asked my teenage son to listen for the kids, and told him that we would be just in the back yard if he needed us.
I walked outside, and was pleasantly surprised to see candle light and bottled water sitting just outside the hot tub.
It was so quite and peaceful. We didnt talk at all for probably the first 15 minutes. Just enjoyed the noises around us, relaxed and cuddled. He knew it had been a long and busy day for both of us, and that the kids were going to have me up early the next day.
We only stayed out for about 30 minutes total, it was after all 10:00pm and he was due into work at 4:30am.
It wasnt a regularly long date this week, but it was enjoyable all the same. It was just enough time to reconnect and to relax.