Words are worse than Sticks and Stones

Saw a story on the news tonight that touched my heart. Jason has dealt with being bullied in Grade school and Jr High. teased, called names, etc...
so proud of this girl for posting such an inspiration, and then seeing those supporters that have posted on Youtube in response to her.

Jason school

January we decided to bring Jason home for school. he was really struggling with this year and the grades kept dropping no matter what we did.
soooo, after much research his dad and I decided on K12


I've struggled keeping him on task, but it all seems to be paying off. His grades are all above a C. whooo hooo :)

I really like K12, and enjoy the flexibility of doing classes in different orders each day, or being able to spread them clear into the evening times if we decide to do that. (not often that happens though).
once all school work is done, he then can go hang out with his friends. we've tried keeping our school hours the same as the regular school hours so that we are done when his friends are done.
It makes it nice that I am home during the day with my daycare.

Back to school

well even though 9th grade is still in the Jr High.. its tough acknowledging that i have a High Schooler.

of course I didnt take a picture, so I'll have to do that later today (end of first day picture) or tomorrow morning when I take him down to school.
sadly, I felt more unprepared for this year in terms of supplies, schedules, etc. We were looking at his schedule THIS MORNING and looking to see where classes were on the online school map. He noticed he has one teacher he says Hates him, I'm sure its just not that extreme... but we all know teenage drama is much worse than it really is.
He has a teacher for advisory that he cant stand, he says the guy has his advisory just sit and talk or play games... I asked "this is a bad thing? " so then I pointed out, its only 45 minutes a day with him, and I'm sure he can find someone to talk to or can entertain himself for that time frame.
He has alot of teachers that he really enjoys, so I'm hoping that it will all balance out at the end of the day.

Doing MUCH better/Jason coming home

I've had a few people ask how things are going for me now since my melt down. I'm doing much better. Its hard to explain, but it was kinda like I needed that melt down to in a sense "cleanse" myself of all the hurt and ups and down from this summer. I've had two days of smiles, lots of hugs and time with friends, and its all been very theraputic. I knew i needed to get it out of my system before my son came home, he doesnt need to see mom like that.
I'm out on a few dating sites, and have the word out to friends that I am single and looking :) we'll see.

on another good note: my kiddo comes home in 10 days, I soooo cant wait to see him. Its been a long summer without him. I know he has had a blast, and that he has had the chance to rebond with his dad. all great things for him. I've been able to talk to him some (not lots because he's been busy) but some. I've just missed his smile and his sarcasum if that is at all possible. He starts 9th grade on the 23rd, and its just crazy weird that my baby is old enough to be "high school" age. I met his dad when we were this age, so I've told my ex that we are in BIG trouble now :)

anyways, really... life is good, I'm okay. I hate the idea of being alone, and it does get lonely. But this too will pass, and I'm surrounded by loved ones and friends.

melt down

Last night i had myself a good old fashioned melt down, the tears started and just wouldnt stop. nothing I did, made them stop. in some cases the tears and crying got harder. I was just so very lonely last night, and just wanting a good man to wrap his arms around me and tell me it would all be okay.
I knew i just needed to get through the night, get some sleep and things would be looking up in the morning.
I really hate nights like that, but the good news is that these nights come far and few between now.

Long story short

Long story short.... this has been my summer in a nut shell
Don and I split, and I moved out in February. We attempted for a few months to go back to "dating" and in a sense rediscover us. things were okay for awhile, it was on and off. We took a few trips together and had a great time. We officially broke things off for good about a month ago. Its been hard, and we didnt end of the best of terms. The reasons are not important, but its a good thing for both of us. We are on cival speaking terms (after all, he is my trusted Mechanic) He's moved on, I've moved on and we have been able to talk about each others future with others this weekend. It was nice, there was no hurt, no tears. Just two friends talking. giving each other the perspective from the opposite sex.

the trips I've taken: went to Colorado (which I still need to blog)
many camping trips, a trip to lava... all of which i need to catch up on here.
Its been a long enjoyable summer inbetween all the rotten stuff.

WOW, way over due

wow, its been a LONG time hasnt it.
lets see, update in a nut shell.... I moved back home, and stress took over for a bit.
yep, that about says it all :)

so now, we are heading into summer, I'm still unemployed but watching my friends kids for some income. Jason is heading off to Washington for the summer, and is excited about it.
I am just going to be plugging right along the best I can.

I just returned from a fast trip to Vegas for a wedding, and getting ready to head out to Colorado for 10 days.

so I'll post about Vegas, and then when I get back from Colorado, I'll post about that :)