I've had a few people ask how things are going for me now since my melt down. I'm doing much better. Its hard to explain, but it was kinda like I needed that melt down to in a sense "cleanse" myself of all the hurt and ups and down from this summer. I've had two days of smiles, lots of hugs and time with friends, and its all been very theraputic. I knew i needed to get it out of my system before my son came home, he doesnt need to see mom like that.
I'm out on a few dating sites, and have the word out to friends that I am single and looking :) we'll see.
on another good note: my kiddo comes home in 10 days, I soooo cant wait to see him. Its been a long summer without him. I know he has had a blast, and that he has had the chance to rebond with his dad. all great things for him. I've been able to talk to him some (not lots because he's been busy) but some. I've just missed his smile and his sarcasum if that is at all possible. He starts 9th grade on the 23rd, and its just crazy weird that my baby is old enough to be "high school" age. I met his dad when we were this age, so I've told my ex that we are in BIG trouble now :)
anyways, really... life is good, I'm okay. I hate the idea of being alone, and it does get lonely. But this too will pass, and I'm surrounded by loved ones and friends.